Jim and brother Justin.
I came upstairs and replayed
Jim's residency-class picture.
I first was aware of Jim during residency when he was approaching the insurance reps during our Kessler resident lunch hour. I heard him say that he lives in the same town as me and in no time we became study partners. He had become habituated to studying at Starbucks so I honored his request the first time. He was determined to read the Braddom textbook from cover to cover within his first year. He was working on understanding/memorizing the anatomy of the limbs. I was studying an article by Asa Wilbourne on radiculopathy. In order to understand something I have to be able to teach it, and he was soaking up every bit of what I was telling him. I think he was sold on the idea of studying with me and therefore respected my wishes to try studying at my parents house.
What really sealed the deal for our studying there, were the endless bountiful meals offered by my parents. Even they were impressed with the frequency and amplitude of portions ingested by Jim with a huge grin on his face. My parents used to love feeding him. It seemed to all of us that his gut was an inexhaustible infinite receptacle of food. His classmate Gary, was known to be a competitive eater in his pre-medical life. It was widely accepted that everyone should get their food from the buffet table before
Whatever we studied that first day in my basement, required that I printed out my notes. Jim found this to be a bit excessive and he did not hesitate to tell me so. I showed him the process that I went through and he was doubly sure that this was not something he was going to explore. To him, it just did not seem to justify the time spent. The next day he showed me what he had studied in a handout format. He had completely co-opted my style and was taking it to the next step. He went handout crazy after that and served as the source of positive competitive spirit for me.
He took in all of my advice but was very careful not to let any of the negative aspects of it slow him down. I remember being amazed at how diplomatically he could get me to do things without my knowledge of it at the time for example, it is well known that I am physically quite lazy. But somehow he got me to help him move out of his apartment with two other people who clearly were not averse to physical activity. I still can’t believe that happened in retrospect.
Jim and Sally at an event (photo by Casey ODonnell).
I remember one day when we were studying in my parents basement and he sat down at my drum kit. He started to play something that caught my attention. He had played percussion in his middle school band. I immediately saw the potential rock drummer in him. By treating rock drumming as a math problem, I was able to teach him enough to play a few songs at the program's graduation party. He attacked this task with the same intensity, drive, and comprehensiveness that he did everything else. No one could believe that he was holding his own on a stage with a bunch of musicians with years of experience.
Jim drumming at Kessler graduation (photo by Jenfu Cheng)
Jim was an excellent multitasker. He simultaneously participated in a number of potentially publishable research projects, trained for the Ironman competition, set up the Ironman as a fundraiser for children, worked on a curriculum to teach electrodiagnostic evaluation to residents, tutored medical students and still made the time to talk on the phone with friends, have a relaxed dinner with my family, and keep his dating life active. He somehow did all of this without spreading himself too thin. His reputation was so ingrained among the people who knew him that it was not uncommon to hear people say "Look, I'm no Jim McLean" when trying to imply that a specific task or number of tasks seemed potentially overwhelming.
I designed this cover for the last of many manuals/study guides created by Jim.
It's hard to explain to people outside our field what it means to be prolific
in this way. Most of us don't even read a full manual, let alone write more than one.
I remember one day that he rang my doorbell and was soaking wet. I remarked that I didn't realize how torrentially it must've been raining. He corrected me, told me it was beautiful outside, the dripping wetness was actually his perspiration after riding his bike from four towns over. He then laid down on my new microfiber sofa which now has a Jim McLean body sized discoloration where he had lain. J
Jim Mclean displaying an impressive hematoma after a biking accident
(ie sliding at god knows how many mph on a metal grate bridge).
He was truly fearless. To call him a gentle soul would be a mischaracterization. He had a gentle aura which contrasted his aggressive physique and assertive ambition. We had very different backgrounds and aesthetics yet he was able to see beyond those things when dealing with me. In that way I was able to gain a strong friendship in my life.
Jim and I were very close for two years. This is the kind of closeness that one rarely finds in adulthood... it's the kind that requires many hours a week spent in the same room, with the same goals, and the same urgency to achieve them. People knew this. One friend joked when he saw our new house "which of these is Jim's bedroom?" I enjoy the guilty vice of taunting my friends to the point of aggravation. Jim never let this get to him. There was only one time that I was really able to get under his skin but I can't count it as a victory because we later found out that he was severely hypoglycemic at that moment.
Happy smiling Jim AFTER the hypoglycemia was sated by
chocolatey goodness (yes, those are girlscouts cookies)
BEFORE it he was going to unleash on me
the wrath of his front headlock! 
Right now I'm a little numb. It hit me very very hard when I heard of his passing but seconds later it was gone. His life was already packed with twice the experiences and accomplishments at the end of most people's lives. Despite this, there was so much more that Jim had left to give to the world. This is the definition of tragic. I'm really going to miss him.
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10 comments:
Thanks Gautam.
Those words mean so much in remembering our dear friend.
Gary
Gautam,
Your words, just as the energy Jim exuded, touch the soul deeply. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute to him. I'm am otherwise speechless, full of disbelief and sorrow.
Gina
Thank you, Gautam, for sharing your memories.
It is hard (if not impossible) to make sense of Jim's passing. He was able to touch so many lives...the void left just can't be filled. But, Jim's contributions to all of our lives will truly stay with each of us.
-JenFu
Thank you, Gautam, for sharing your memories.
It is hard (if not impossible) to make sense of Jim's passing. He was able to touch so many lives...the void left just can't be filled. But, Jim's contributions to all of our lives will truly stay with each of us.
-JenFu
Thank you, Gautam,
My heart broke when I heard the news. I remember the day I met him and found out he needed a place to live and I ended up hooking him up with my brother to share an apartment. He was truly a great guy, wonderful doctor, and will be missed dearly. My prayers go out to his family and loved ones.
Alice
Jim was one of the most enthusiatic and motivated professional collegues whom I have ever met. He was a kindhearted person who exuded good values and a unique spirit. I will always remember Jim in my professional and personal life. His smile and zeal for teaching will be deeply missed. His passing is a tremendous loss.
Ariz Mehta
This is very hard news to hear. Jim will certainly be remembered well. His legacy will continue in all of our memories, as well as in the teaching he initiated at Kessler for the morning EMG program, which was named for him and for which he received an award from Kessler 2 years ago. Thank you Gautam for the posts.
Gautam,
Thanks for writing such heart felt words. I only knew Jim for a short time and he had a positive impact. My prayers are with is family and friends
I received Jim's passing with shock and disbelieve. His passing is a great loss to all of us and to the field of PMR. Jim's dedication and enthusiasm to teach the class of 2008 EMG's in the mornings during our first year has had a major impact during our residency training thus far and will go beyond for the rest of our professional lives. His kind spirit, empathy and professionalism is superb! While most of us arrived late and literally dragged our feet to get to the EMG lab. every Wednesday morning, he would be the first to arrive and will always have a smile on his face. I vividly remember one day when he came in few minutes late after most of us have arrived, he apologized to the entire class repeatedly and promised to make sure his alarm clock is well set next time after working out and going to bed late. By then we were only first year residents and he was our senior. He did not have to say sorry, but he did. He never hesitated to return a phone call, e-mail or stop in the hallway to explain difficult concepts to us. Jim, you will be dearly missed. Our prayers and support are with the entire McLean's family.
I miss my friend.
Words on paper can not describe;
The space which must now be filled;
With nothing but memories;
Of good things from the past.
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